This week's post is for the mommy that find's herself pulling her hair out because her 2 year old has dumped an entire bag of flour in the floor, and proceeded to roll around in it. =) I've been there, and I would like to share some thoughts and tips that I have learned along the way.
The most imporant rule I have learned as a parent, is this: Never ever think badly about your children. So, what do I mean by this? Most parent's dont think that their children are horrbile monsters that were created for mass destruction and world domination...(at least I hope so) But, EVERYONE has days that they have thought, "OMG! My children are driving me crazy!" I am the same way, but it's time to retrain that though. When you find yourself begin to think that, stop. Replace that thought with, child must be bored. What can we do to solve this? Break the negative cycle now, or your going to be miserable for a long time.
I'm going to be blunt, and please don't take offense. I have found mself in this very situation. If your children are making huge messes, then you probably aren't doing enough to keep them entertained. If you wont find something creative, and appropriate for them to do...then they will create something themselves. I cannot tell you how many that I have recently spent painting over crayon and markers, and taking nail polish off my hardwood floors. I was at my wits end, a few months ago. I was trying to go to school, run my home, and study.. it was a disasterous combination. It took a summer break, and two months before I devised a strategy to keep them engaged.
There are a few basic things that every parent of young children should keep stock of.
Cheap shaving cream
Bars of Ivory soap
Multicolored feathers
Pipe Cleaners
Fuzzy pompom balls in various sizes and colors
Glue
Google eyes
Popcorn
Straws
Finger paints
Glitter
Food coloring
Construction paper
Scissors
Bubble solution
Wax paper
Cheap plastic table cloths
and, of course....Crayons
How you combine them, it totally up to you, but I swear to you, if you make things for your children to do...then you will have less drama. Kids are super easy to enterain. You can put shaving cream on a plastic table cover, let them smear it all over the table cloth, make picture and shapes... whatever. Then, while they are stripping their clothes on the way to the bath, you fold up the table cloth and throw it in the trash. Mess dissappeared, and you aren't stuck scrubbing something off the walls. Ivory soap you can microwave...(yes it can be microwaved, and no.. it doesnt explode) once the soap cloud is cool let them help break the cloud up, dump some boiling water in the bowl...with a few drops of food coloring.. stir..and you have colored bath tub soap paint. Just a few that I have done.
The Soap cloud
The biggest part about parenting is remembering that they are kids. Not little adults. You are the parent, you are the adult. You have to take control of the situation. Do a self inventory, and see where you spend most of your time. Ask yourself three questions: What do I spend most of my time doing when the children are awake? What do they say to me when I am doing these things? What are the signs that trouble is in the wake? ( Do they get super quiet? Does he/she dissappear?) If you don't meet their tactile needs, they will do it on their own.....and you will have little to no control over what they do. I would rather waste a plastic table cloth, and spend an hour giving my kids a bath (and be called the best mom in the world), than to scrub crayon off my walls and floor.
It doesn't take much, but a little creativity can dissolve a huge headache. This is also a time that you can make special, teach them, make memories. Being a "good" parent is what you make of it. You can make happiness out of messes. If you control the enviornment, they can paint the shower walls with soap pain..and only you will know that as soon as they are out of the bath....the shower head will wash it down the drain. Let them be creative, but give them an outlet to do so. This time is gone in the blink of an eye. Before we know it, they will be gone and building families of their own. What do you want them to remember?
For me, I want them to remember happiness, the times their mommy let them make giant messes, and the shaving cream... oh, the shaving cream!
Blessings and love as your week continues!
xoxoxo,
Audrie
Wednesday, February 22, 2012
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
If you reach out in faith, you will find yourself pulled onto the other side of grace
Some of my most favorite life lessons, have come from very unusual sources. While watching The Lion King with my children a few days ago, I was reminded of one that is important... Don't run from your past. Learn from it and move on. Most days, for most people that is easier said than done.
Let's face it, everyone has at least one skeleton in their closet. Everyone has a few secrets that they keep because they are afraid of what the world will think of them, and who they will disappoint. It is becoming harder and harder for people to surrender their secrets. Yes, there is an encrypted message in here, and at some point.. I might tell you about it...might. Defiantly not today, but maybe soon.
We are so mean to each other. We are created to love and prosper, but we do nothing but hate and destroy. The bible says that sin is sin, no matter how big it is. None of the sins that I have committed are any worse than the ones that you, or anyone else have committed. We are all all stained by sin, and will always bear the wound that these battles with sin have created. When we accept Christ, he heals the wounds. So, we have this awesome chance to be healed, and restored. To walk upright and hold our head up, because we are a forgiven people.
Even if you don't believe in Christ, the point is still this... If you steal a million dollars or just 100, your still a thief. What difference does it really make in the end? It doesn't, but because we are so quick to judge.. we will rationalize and reason defenses to the death. If making someone else look more guilty gets me off the hook, then so be it. Selfishness, greed, conceitedness, vanity.. we feed into that stuff, we breathe it.
Now, looking at it from that point of view.. tell me why we make it so hard for each other? I know that if I spilled and confessed my every sin, people very close would refuse to talk to me. Disown me even. I feared the people that I loved the most. I shouldn't have, and neither should you. The Lion King quote most relevant to this topic came from the scene that the baboon smacked Simba upside the head.
Simba- "Owe, what was that for?"
Rafiki- "What does it matter, it's in the past."
Does it matter? No. It only matters to us because we are all guilty. We are pointing the finger at someone else, hoping that no one sees through us. If I can make your sin and your messes look uglier than mine, than no one will pay attention to mine. Maybe, I wont have to face my past. Maybe, I wont have to deal with mine. Maybe... your wrong.
I have a challenge for each and every person that reads this. I challenge you to embrace the people around you with love, and with understanding. I want you to talk to someone, then let someone talk to you. Pray for people your upset with, let go of the baggage. I challenge you to reach out to someone you see struggling with the same secret as you. I challenge you to surrender that secret, to let go and help someone in need. The only request I have, is that you message me.. tell me what happened. I really believe that if you reach out in faith, you will find yourself pulled onto the other side of grace.
So, what are you waiting for? In the mean time, I'll be praying for each and every person that comes across this. Be bold, and redefine yourself.
XOXOX!
Audrie
P.S. If you just need to share something, please know that my sin is just as black. I offer prayer, love, and support.
Let's face it, everyone has at least one skeleton in their closet. Everyone has a few secrets that they keep because they are afraid of what the world will think of them, and who they will disappoint. It is becoming harder and harder for people to surrender their secrets. Yes, there is an encrypted message in here, and at some point.. I might tell you about it...might. Defiantly not today, but maybe soon.
We are so mean to each other. We are created to love and prosper, but we do nothing but hate and destroy. The bible says that sin is sin, no matter how big it is. None of the sins that I have committed are any worse than the ones that you, or anyone else have committed. We are all all stained by sin, and will always bear the wound that these battles with sin have created. When we accept Christ, he heals the wounds. So, we have this awesome chance to be healed, and restored. To walk upright and hold our head up, because we are a forgiven people.
Even if you don't believe in Christ, the point is still this... If you steal a million dollars or just 100, your still a thief. What difference does it really make in the end? It doesn't, but because we are so quick to judge.. we will rationalize and reason defenses to the death. If making someone else look more guilty gets me off the hook, then so be it. Selfishness, greed, conceitedness, vanity.. we feed into that stuff, we breathe it.
Now, looking at it from that point of view.. tell me why we make it so hard for each other? I know that if I spilled and confessed my every sin, people very close would refuse to talk to me. Disown me even. I feared the people that I loved the most. I shouldn't have, and neither should you. The Lion King quote most relevant to this topic came from the scene that the baboon smacked Simba upside the head.
Simba- "Owe, what was that for?"
Rafiki- "What does it matter, it's in the past."
Does it matter? No. It only matters to us because we are all guilty. We are pointing the finger at someone else, hoping that no one sees through us. If I can make your sin and your messes look uglier than mine, than no one will pay attention to mine. Maybe, I wont have to face my past. Maybe, I wont have to deal with mine. Maybe... your wrong.
I have a challenge for each and every person that reads this. I challenge you to embrace the people around you with love, and with understanding. I want you to talk to someone, then let someone talk to you. Pray for people your upset with, let go of the baggage. I challenge you to reach out to someone you see struggling with the same secret as you. I challenge you to surrender that secret, to let go and help someone in need. The only request I have, is that you message me.. tell me what happened. I really believe that if you reach out in faith, you will find yourself pulled onto the other side of grace.
So, what are you waiting for? In the mean time, I'll be praying for each and every person that comes across this. Be bold, and redefine yourself.
XOXOX!
Audrie
P.S. If you just need to share something, please know that my sin is just as black. I offer prayer, love, and support.
Saturday, February 11, 2012
So yesterday was Kyrie's 5th birthday party. I have to say that even thought I was completely dissapointed with the way the day went down..didnt get into the church until 5 (which was the time that I told everyone to be there) and a few important people couldn't make it...but She had a blast. We did a rainbow theme, and I made everything... well, almost. She requested a rainbow LAYERED (not just a cake with rainbow icing, 6 flipping layers, each one a different color) cake, rainbow playdough, some decorated marshmellows.. stuff like that. Since this is the first birthday party that I have not worked or had school to interfear with planning... I decided...I'll do everything that I can by hand...make it more special.
So, two days later, I joined pintrest, and started looking at different things trying to get ideas for what the heck I was going to do. I even googled "rainbow party"..which turned up some very inappropriate results, so we stuck with the stuff on pintrest instead.
Day one started Monday.. I went to the grocery store.. with my list..which by the way, if you have a busy family life, or if your like me, and cant remember what you need at the store 10 seconds after you back out of the driveway..and can't remember to take the list inside the store with you... join Cozi.com. It's an awesome website that lets you build a family calendar, and my favorite thing...it lets you build a grocery list online...then you have the option of sending the list to your phone in a text message!Awesome!! I know, right? Why didn't I think of that? Moving on... It took me nearly 2 hours to get the shopping done. I went after naptime, so by the time I got home...I had just enough time to make some mess free finger painting bags (I'll explain later) and put on a movie for the kids so that I could make dinner. So, kinda a wasted day.
Tuesday, I got out all of my stuff and began building the playdough and the mason jars that would contain it. At first I was going to make glitter dough, but I figured my son would just eat it. So, I looked for a alternative that would be ok should someone (Tyler man) decide put it to the culnary test. I chose koolaide playdough, because one..its basics are flour, sugar, koolaide, and water..I had everything that I needed to make it, in my pantry. Two.. it can be eaten should someone get curious, and it smells good. So...simple right? WRONG! Making that playdough was literally one of the single most mind boggling messes of my adult life. I'll tell you why..here is the instructions
1 cup flour
1/2 cup sugar
3 teaspoons Cream of tatar
2 table spoons olive or vegetable oil
1 cup of water
1 package of koolaide-any flavor
Mix together, cook over medium to low heat for 10 minutes or until thick, allow to cool.Knead for 2 minutes or until pliable. If tacky add 1/4 cup flour
Well.. It thickened in like 2 minutes. I learned that the lemonade, does not actually have any color...so I colored it with Wilton's Gel food coloring and got an awesome sunny yellow color. The add 1/4 cup of flour, should have read more like...when you take it off the stove to knead it...just dump the whole flipping bag of flour in there...and work it! I lost count of how much flour I ended up using, but by the time I was done..so was my bag of flour. It took me FOREVER!! However, I am now able to recite the instructions at the drop of a hat, by memory. I made 5 colors, red, orange, yellow, green, and blue. I had the stuff to make purple..but by the time I finished the first 5... I was ready to pull my hair out! It made a ton of playdough, I had more than enough for the 6 small mason jars that I was going to put it in, which was a good thing. Word to the wise.. if you choose to layer the colors in the jar one on top of the other, do two things. One, flour between each layer, and two allow the dough to dry out a bit before you shut the lid.. if you don't.. it will stick, and it will be a pain the the butt to get out the next day...TRUST me! The second round of playdough, I let them air out a bit (about 15-20 minutes , I threw a load of laundry in to wash and pulled one out of the dryer..did't fold) then rolled the colors into small balls that I pressed into flour on each side before I layered it in the glass. It wwas still a bit tacky after that, but you could actually get each layer out one at a time. I put the play dough in small mason jars, and made a handle out of some rainbow ribbon, and multicolored number buttons that I found in the sewing section at Wal-Mart. I cut the ribbon, glued the ends together, and then glued a number 5 button on top.. to attach the "handle", I unscrewed the lid of the jar laid a section of the ribbon across the rim, making sure the button was at the top, and screwed the lid on. Easy peasy!
Here is the end result, cute right?
So... I also made her a bow and a special birthday bow, using some of the same rainbow ribbon and a few scraps of ribbon I had in my craft drawer... I can't find a picture of the bow it's self, but I do have one of my sweet girl wearing it. I'm planning on making a ton of summer hair bow's for the girls soon, and I will post instructions for all of them, including the birthday bow and ribbon shoes then, but here is a shot of the birthday bow. I will tell you that if you can find the cheap keds or faded glory tennis shoes..buy a few pairs of them. Even if you can ony find the white ones.buy them. They can always be dyed another color to match an outfit, and they are super cheap! So your daughter can have a little pair of shoes to match most of her outfits without doing major damage to your wallet!
Not an upclose picture, but you can see it pretty well.
Here are the ribbon shoes.. she is still wearing them, and now Nataleigh wants a pair. They would be super cute for a cheerleading squad or dance team.. just a though!
Now on to the cake! The most time consuming task of the entire project. I found a site that explained how to make the cake from scratch...and I though about it until I looked at how long it took to do that.. 6 hours! I have 3 small children running around my house. There is no way I can devote 6 hours to baking one cake..so I cheated. Bought white cake mixes, 3 got 6 mixing bowls, and divided the cake batter nto each bow ( about 2 cups of cake batter per bowl is more than enough) Added about a teaspoon of Wilton's Gel frosting coloring...and mixed. I baked them according to the time on the box. I let each of the layers cool, then stacked them. Purple on bottom, blue, green, then yellow orange and red. I used regular vanilla Betty Crocker icing, to frost the cake, Kyrie wanted the frosting orange, so I put some dye in the frosting as well. I put it on a cake stand, surrounded the bottom with gulballs, and called it a cake. The cake turned out a bit lopsided, but by the time I was done.. I didnt care. I just wanted to load the thing up and get it the heck out of there! It looked kinda pitiful on the outside, but the inside was awesome. The colors were vibrant, and it put a big smile on my little girl's face...which was all that mattered.
So.. like I said, the outside...kinda sad, but the inside.. is pretty much awesomenss on a plate. She though it was the best thing since sliced bread, and everyone was pretty much in awe of the vivid colors I had managed to produce in this cake. I will probably never do this again, because I fear for my sanity.... but it was all worth it to see my little girl's face to light up like that.
So when the kids left the party, they left with three things. A small water bottle (the little ones, like 4 ounces?) with ribbon wrabbed around the middle, the homemade playdough, and a small bag of Werthers Original candies... the thought process was this.. Rain comes before every rainbow, but it's always followed with a pot of gold.. The only suggestion I will make...is for the water bottles. I could only find thin satin ribbon, which was too thin to cover the blue bottle wrapper. I suggest using grosgrain, if you are content on doing a white base ribbon. Some thing that is thicker and that the bottle wrapper wont show through. Then wrap your second ribbon around the middle and glue. For whatever reason, I can't get the darn picture to upload right now, so I will post it later.
Werthers happened to be the ONLY candy I could find in a gold wrapper. Oh the joys of living in a small town! I wanted gold coins, but didnt have time to order them in, and again..we have no where to find them here in small town USA. So, I improvised..still turned out cute. For table decorations I just covered the able with plastic table cloths, and threw what was left of the multicolored buttons on them. I put the forks and spoons on mason jars... served tea and lemonade....and Oh, yeah.. The kids table! I nearly forgot I covered one of the tables with poster boards... got a giant box of crayons (Its the one that comes with it's own plastic sharpner) divided them into three mason jars..and Tah Dah! A table that they can color on.
So, that is the ends and outs of the rainbow birthday party, please feel free to contact me with any questions you have...or comments!
xoxo!
Audrie
So, two days later, I joined pintrest, and started looking at different things trying to get ideas for what the heck I was going to do. I even googled "rainbow party"..which turned up some very inappropriate results, so we stuck with the stuff on pintrest instead.
Day one started Monday.. I went to the grocery store.. with my list..which by the way, if you have a busy family life, or if your like me, and cant remember what you need at the store 10 seconds after you back out of the driveway..and can't remember to take the list inside the store with you... join Cozi.com. It's an awesome website that lets you build a family calendar, and my favorite thing...it lets you build a grocery list online...then you have the option of sending the list to your phone in a text message!Awesome!! I know, right? Why didn't I think of that? Moving on... It took me nearly 2 hours to get the shopping done. I went after naptime, so by the time I got home...I had just enough time to make some mess free finger painting bags (I'll explain later) and put on a movie for the kids so that I could make dinner. So, kinda a wasted day.
Tuesday, I got out all of my stuff and began building the playdough and the mason jars that would contain it. At first I was going to make glitter dough, but I figured my son would just eat it. So, I looked for a alternative that would be ok should someone (Tyler man) decide put it to the culnary test. I chose koolaide playdough, because one..its basics are flour, sugar, koolaide, and water..I had everything that I needed to make it, in my pantry. Two.. it can be eaten should someone get curious, and it smells good. So...simple right? WRONG! Making that playdough was literally one of the single most mind boggling messes of my adult life. I'll tell you why..here is the instructions
1 cup flour
1/2 cup sugar
3 teaspoons Cream of tatar
2 table spoons olive or vegetable oil
1 cup of water
1 package of koolaide-any flavor
Mix together, cook over medium to low heat for 10 minutes or until thick, allow to cool.Knead for 2 minutes or until pliable. If tacky add 1/4 cup flour
Well.. It thickened in like 2 minutes. I learned that the lemonade, does not actually have any color...so I colored it with Wilton's Gel food coloring and got an awesome sunny yellow color. The add 1/4 cup of flour, should have read more like...when you take it off the stove to knead it...just dump the whole flipping bag of flour in there...and work it! I lost count of how much flour I ended up using, but by the time I was done..so was my bag of flour. It took me FOREVER!! However, I am now able to recite the instructions at the drop of a hat, by memory. I made 5 colors, red, orange, yellow, green, and blue. I had the stuff to make purple..but by the time I finished the first 5... I was ready to pull my hair out! It made a ton of playdough, I had more than enough for the 6 small mason jars that I was going to put it in, which was a good thing. Word to the wise.. if you choose to layer the colors in the jar one on top of the other, do two things. One, flour between each layer, and two allow the dough to dry out a bit before you shut the lid.. if you don't.. it will stick, and it will be a pain the the butt to get out the next day...TRUST me! The second round of playdough, I let them air out a bit (about 15-20 minutes , I threw a load of laundry in to wash and pulled one out of the dryer..did't fold) then rolled the colors into small balls that I pressed into flour on each side before I layered it in the glass. It wwas still a bit tacky after that, but you could actually get each layer out one at a time. I put the play dough in small mason jars, and made a handle out of some rainbow ribbon, and multicolored number buttons that I found in the sewing section at Wal-Mart. I cut the ribbon, glued the ends together, and then glued a number 5 button on top.. to attach the "handle", I unscrewed the lid of the jar laid a section of the ribbon across the rim, making sure the button was at the top, and screwed the lid on. Easy peasy!
Here is the end result, cute right?
So... I also made her a bow and a special birthday bow, using some of the same rainbow ribbon and a few scraps of ribbon I had in my craft drawer... I can't find a picture of the bow it's self, but I do have one of my sweet girl wearing it. I'm planning on making a ton of summer hair bow's for the girls soon, and I will post instructions for all of them, including the birthday bow and ribbon shoes then, but here is a shot of the birthday bow. I will tell you that if you can find the cheap keds or faded glory tennis shoes..buy a few pairs of them. Even if you can ony find the white ones.buy them. They can always be dyed another color to match an outfit, and they are super cheap! So your daughter can have a little pair of shoes to match most of her outfits without doing major damage to your wallet!
Not an upclose picture, but you can see it pretty well.
Here are the ribbon shoes.. she is still wearing them, and now Nataleigh wants a pair. They would be super cute for a cheerleading squad or dance team.. just a though!
Now on to the cake! The most time consuming task of the entire project. I found a site that explained how to make the cake from scratch...and I though about it until I looked at how long it took to do that.. 6 hours! I have 3 small children running around my house. There is no way I can devote 6 hours to baking one cake..so I cheated. Bought white cake mixes, 3 got 6 mixing bowls, and divided the cake batter nto each bow ( about 2 cups of cake batter per bowl is more than enough) Added about a teaspoon of Wilton's Gel frosting coloring...and mixed. I baked them according to the time on the box. I let each of the layers cool, then stacked them. Purple on bottom, blue, green, then yellow orange and red. I used regular vanilla Betty Crocker icing, to frost the cake, Kyrie wanted the frosting orange, so I put some dye in the frosting as well. I put it on a cake stand, surrounded the bottom with gulballs, and called it a cake. The cake turned out a bit lopsided, but by the time I was done.. I didnt care. I just wanted to load the thing up and get it the heck out of there! It looked kinda pitiful on the outside, but the inside was awesome. The colors were vibrant, and it put a big smile on my little girl's face...which was all that mattered.
So.. like I said, the outside...kinda sad, but the inside.. is pretty much awesomenss on a plate. She though it was the best thing since sliced bread, and everyone was pretty much in awe of the vivid colors I had managed to produce in this cake. I will probably never do this again, because I fear for my sanity.... but it was all worth it to see my little girl's face to light up like that.
So when the kids left the party, they left with three things. A small water bottle (the little ones, like 4 ounces?) with ribbon wrabbed around the middle, the homemade playdough, and a small bag of Werthers Original candies... the thought process was this.. Rain comes before every rainbow, but it's always followed with a pot of gold.. The only suggestion I will make...is for the water bottles. I could only find thin satin ribbon, which was too thin to cover the blue bottle wrapper. I suggest using grosgrain, if you are content on doing a white base ribbon. Some thing that is thicker and that the bottle wrapper wont show through. Then wrap your second ribbon around the middle and glue. For whatever reason, I can't get the darn picture to upload right now, so I will post it later.
Werthers happened to be the ONLY candy I could find in a gold wrapper. Oh the joys of living in a small town! I wanted gold coins, but didnt have time to order them in, and again..we have no where to find them here in small town USA. So, I improvised..still turned out cute. For table decorations I just covered the able with plastic table cloths, and threw what was left of the multicolored buttons on them. I put the forks and spoons on mason jars... served tea and lemonade....and Oh, yeah.. The kids table! I nearly forgot I covered one of the tables with poster boards... got a giant box of crayons (Its the one that comes with it's own plastic sharpner) divided them into three mason jars..and Tah Dah! A table that they can color on.
So, that is the ends and outs of the rainbow birthday party, please feel free to contact me with any questions you have...or comments!
xoxo!
Audrie
So, I've decided to give this blogging thing a try. I live just as a chaotic life as anyone else, and share the same struggles...so if something that I have done or said can help someone through the rough patches in their life, then the hour that I spend in front of the computer while my children are asleep will be well worth it's weight in gold.
So, a little background...this way your not scratching your head and wondering,,, "Really, where did any of this come from?" I am a 25 year old wife and mother of 3 small children. Our eldest is a spunky 5 year old (Kyrie) who loves life, color, and is one of those kids that has a genuinely sweet heart. She never has to be told to share, and she is so loving. Our middle is 4 (Nataleigh), and she is full of attitude...or what we more commonly refer to as Nattatude. She is fiesty, stubborn, and tough. She wears her Sunday dress and bows with converse, and spends the first 20 minutes of every day cuddling in bed with her mama. The baby (Tyler), is 3.. he is a laid back, go with the flow kind of kid. He is perfectly content to spend each morning on the couch to watch every episode of Mickey Mouse Clubhouse that is scheduled. Together they make the whirlwind trio of mobile living room terrorists....that I adore with every single fiber of my being.
My husband and I met as freshmen in highschool. We were both members of the highschool marching band, which was basically the only thing that we had in common. He is very quiet and reserved, and I am very not. After 4 years of friendship, two of which we were attached at the hip...our relationship began. I've always known that my husband was a gift. He was the only person that has ever stood the test of time. He has always been there, even when he was upset with me. If I needed him, he was there. He really is my center. We fight hard sometimes, and we've had our ups and downs...but we always build eachother up. It's taken me forever for me to say this, but where he is...is the only place that I have ever felt safe. He and my children are home. I can breathe and thrive as long as I have them.
I came from a "broken home". (Is that term even used anymore?) My parents divorced when I was very young... and I was bounced back and fourth between them and my grandparents basically my entire childhood. My parents were young and irresponsible, and my maternal grandparents were overbearing... and I got caught somewhere in the middle, trying to figure out where I fit in. My dad was a hardworker, he spent his entire life in the oil fields, and would have made a substantial living... if he were a better accountant. My mom..well, she was a work of art. I mean that in the literal term now, but ten years ago I couldn't even bare to go and see her. She has bipolar disorder, and diabetes. So, 15 years ago.. Bipolar disorder was most commonly misdiagnosed as depression. SO.. antidepressants were prescribed regularly..and one of the most serious side effects of most all antidepressant medication is... "Risk for suicide and/or suicidial tendencies/idealations". Ok, so you do the math there... anyway, after multiple suicide attempts and near death experiences...she suffered some brain damage. So, right now, my mother is 47, and is at the developmental level of a 15 year old. It took me a long time, and a semester of pshychartic nursing before I could say that I really undestand my mother. I love her for her, she is first and foremost my mother, and she loved me the only way that she could. I can't really say that I have the "mom" connection with anyone, but I understand that she couldn't be that, even though I really think that she wanted to. She could only be Julie, and that's ok with me.
So, long story short, my childhood was less than conducive for learning to be a self sustaning, confidant adult. My journey into adulthood, started out rocky...at best. At 20 I became a wife and mother withing 6 months of eachother, I was the main provider for the family while my husband was in school. I had a tremendous amount of responsibility, and no clue how to do any of it, except the working. I worked my most of my teenage years, I was comfortable with that aspect. I had absoutly no clue how to do the rest of this, the idea of a family was always something that I had fantasized about....but never really intended to commit to. I knew I was unequipped, and I was not the nuturing type. However, through years of trial and error, prayer, utter failures, heartbreaks, and many tears... I can proudly say that I have broken the cycle of maladaption and the other emotional and psychological chains that bonded my family.
The first step to every rehab program, is to admit that you have a problem. My issue...I knew that there was a problem, but there were so many, that I didnt know where to start. It wasn't until I found myself at 22 with a failing marriage, two toddlers and an infant.. that I was able to identifiy that I had to "fix" myself. The first thing that I did, was I went and enrolled in school. Everything was spinning out of control, and I knew that because I didn't have my degree (nursing) I had nothing to ground myself with. After enrolling, I felt empowered. I felt like I had taken the first steps to show everyone that I was a force that couldn't be reckoned with. Even though I was beaten, I was still walking tall and upright..and I refused to let anything bring me to my knees...... well, almost anything.
I had always believed in God. I wasn't exactly sure how I thought that he worked, but I was sure that he was there. The night that I thought the world ended, after my children were in bed, and I was all alone, I fell to my knees in front of my couch and literally planted my face in the coushins and bawled. I just cried out to God, and begged him to come and heal my broken heart....or help someone fall infront of a greyhound... I was willing to accept either as an option at that point. Just as soon as I told myself that there was no one "up" there... God started moving. He pulled the weeds, and planted new seeds. I renewed friendships with people from my past, and made a new friend that would literally act as the safety net that would catch me on my failed attempts to put the pieces back together. I also renewed a friendship with my sister, and a level of equality with her. Eventually, after months of tears, fighting for my marriage and family, and hours of praying...my husband and I jumped off the bridge to nowhere and have never looked back.
So, now.. my husband, my children and I are loving, learning and thriving. We lead an insanely crazy life... between kids, working and school, finances, and all finishing our home improvement projects.. we are always elbow deep in something. I've taken a semester off of nursing school to refresh my weary brain, and to redirect our home life. My plan is just to take things as they come. I want to make more home cooked meals for my family, find new crafts to make with my children, just to spend each moment that I have right now making each new day a memory worth having. So, now that you know about me... if I can in anyway help you, or if you have a question..please feel free to ask!
Everyone goes through hard times in their lives. Everyone goes through stormy days and sun rays, but they are our only chance to grab a small glimpse of grace.
xoxox!
Audrie
So, a little background...this way your not scratching your head and wondering,,, "Really, where did any of this come from?" I am a 25 year old wife and mother of 3 small children. Our eldest is a spunky 5 year old (Kyrie) who loves life, color, and is one of those kids that has a genuinely sweet heart. She never has to be told to share, and she is so loving. Our middle is 4 (Nataleigh), and she is full of attitude...or what we more commonly refer to as Nattatude. She is fiesty, stubborn, and tough. She wears her Sunday dress and bows with converse, and spends the first 20 minutes of every day cuddling in bed with her mama. The baby (Tyler), is 3.. he is a laid back, go with the flow kind of kid. He is perfectly content to spend each morning on the couch to watch every episode of Mickey Mouse Clubhouse that is scheduled. Together they make the whirlwind trio of mobile living room terrorists....that I adore with every single fiber of my being.
My husband and I met as freshmen in highschool. We were both members of the highschool marching band, which was basically the only thing that we had in common. He is very quiet and reserved, and I am very not. After 4 years of friendship, two of which we were attached at the hip...our relationship began. I've always known that my husband was a gift. He was the only person that has ever stood the test of time. He has always been there, even when he was upset with me. If I needed him, he was there. He really is my center. We fight hard sometimes, and we've had our ups and downs...but we always build eachother up. It's taken me forever for me to say this, but where he is...is the only place that I have ever felt safe. He and my children are home. I can breathe and thrive as long as I have them.
I came from a "broken home". (Is that term even used anymore?) My parents divorced when I was very young... and I was bounced back and fourth between them and my grandparents basically my entire childhood. My parents were young and irresponsible, and my maternal grandparents were overbearing... and I got caught somewhere in the middle, trying to figure out where I fit in. My dad was a hardworker, he spent his entire life in the oil fields, and would have made a substantial living... if he were a better accountant. My mom..well, she was a work of art. I mean that in the literal term now, but ten years ago I couldn't even bare to go and see her. She has bipolar disorder, and diabetes. So, 15 years ago.. Bipolar disorder was most commonly misdiagnosed as depression. SO.. antidepressants were prescribed regularly..and one of the most serious side effects of most all antidepressant medication is... "Risk for suicide and/or suicidial tendencies/idealations". Ok, so you do the math there... anyway, after multiple suicide attempts and near death experiences...she suffered some brain damage. So, right now, my mother is 47, and is at the developmental level of a 15 year old. It took me a long time, and a semester of pshychartic nursing before I could say that I really undestand my mother. I love her for her, she is first and foremost my mother, and she loved me the only way that she could. I can't really say that I have the "mom" connection with anyone, but I understand that she couldn't be that, even though I really think that she wanted to. She could only be Julie, and that's ok with me.
So, long story short, my childhood was less than conducive for learning to be a self sustaning, confidant adult. My journey into adulthood, started out rocky...at best. At 20 I became a wife and mother withing 6 months of eachother, I was the main provider for the family while my husband was in school. I had a tremendous amount of responsibility, and no clue how to do any of it, except the working. I worked my most of my teenage years, I was comfortable with that aspect. I had absoutly no clue how to do the rest of this, the idea of a family was always something that I had fantasized about....but never really intended to commit to. I knew I was unequipped, and I was not the nuturing type. However, through years of trial and error, prayer, utter failures, heartbreaks, and many tears... I can proudly say that I have broken the cycle of maladaption and the other emotional and psychological chains that bonded my family.
The first step to every rehab program, is to admit that you have a problem. My issue...I knew that there was a problem, but there were so many, that I didnt know where to start. It wasn't until I found myself at 22 with a failing marriage, two toddlers and an infant.. that I was able to identifiy that I had to "fix" myself. The first thing that I did, was I went and enrolled in school. Everything was spinning out of control, and I knew that because I didn't have my degree (nursing) I had nothing to ground myself with. After enrolling, I felt empowered. I felt like I had taken the first steps to show everyone that I was a force that couldn't be reckoned with. Even though I was beaten, I was still walking tall and upright..and I refused to let anything bring me to my knees...... well, almost anything.
I had always believed in God. I wasn't exactly sure how I thought that he worked, but I was sure that he was there. The night that I thought the world ended, after my children were in bed, and I was all alone, I fell to my knees in front of my couch and literally planted my face in the coushins and bawled. I just cried out to God, and begged him to come and heal my broken heart....or help someone fall infront of a greyhound... I was willing to accept either as an option at that point. Just as soon as I told myself that there was no one "up" there... God started moving. He pulled the weeds, and planted new seeds. I renewed friendships with people from my past, and made a new friend that would literally act as the safety net that would catch me on my failed attempts to put the pieces back together. I also renewed a friendship with my sister, and a level of equality with her. Eventually, after months of tears, fighting for my marriage and family, and hours of praying...my husband and I jumped off the bridge to nowhere and have never looked back.
So, now.. my husband, my children and I are loving, learning and thriving. We lead an insanely crazy life... between kids, working and school, finances, and all finishing our home improvement projects.. we are always elbow deep in something. I've taken a semester off of nursing school to refresh my weary brain, and to redirect our home life. My plan is just to take things as they come. I want to make more home cooked meals for my family, find new crafts to make with my children, just to spend each moment that I have right now making each new day a memory worth having. So, now that you know about me... if I can in anyway help you, or if you have a question..please feel free to ask!
Everyone goes through hard times in their lives. Everyone goes through stormy days and sun rays, but they are our only chance to grab a small glimpse of grace.
xoxox!
Audrie
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