This morning I am literally sitting here in tears fighting the urge to go grab Kyrie from school. Some jackwad decided to call in shooting threats to our small town school system. If you are that moron, and you happen to stumble upon my humble blog...my child has done nothing to you, and how dare you take advantage of this horrible situation just for a sick high. God bless you and forgive you, and cover you in love....because heaven knows that is something that I am incapable of doing.... your village has called, they want you back.
So, before I found out that there was a gun threat this morning... I began to think of Kyrie, and all of the things that I have on my heart to tell her. I have never thought for one minute that I would never get to see her grow up. I never thought that I would never get to see my child walk at graduation, or go to college, or get married. I never thought that there was any chance in my prefect little world that something could come in and disrupt those perfect thoughts. I'm sure many of us never thought that we would miss those things. We thought wrong folks....way wrong.
So, first of all I would call each and every parent out there to pray for their child. Pray for them while they are at school, before you drop them off, after you pick them up... This world is spinning quickly out of control. You can't change people... now, we can tighten gun laws... blah blah blah... but that will do nothing. People will resort to another vice... if we keep on this road, we need to ban knives, baseball bats, pipes, tire wrenches, and anything and everything that could be used as a deadly weapon... your car.. really. We are fighting a loosing battle.
While thinking about all of those things, I also though about how damn scared Kyrie would be if she found herself without her mommy in a dark closet, or bathroom.. wherever. So, I decided to do the hardest thing in the entire world. I wrote her a letter, in case of an emergency for her teacher to read to her. This is in the event that something happens and I can't get to her quickly.. something like a lock down, or natural disaster. I want her to have something, words.. hand written by me.. so hear as some kind of comfort. I want her to know that I love her, that I will come for her, and mostly that I love her. I know that in some situations, when push comes to shove.. there may not be time to grab it....but if by some chance there is, I want her to be able to have it.
I wont lie, it was by far the hardest letter I have ever written. I bawled bitterly the entire way through it. I told her about the first time I saw her, and how I know that she is going to do great things... and how precious she is to me. I'll skip some of the sappy stuff, but one of the passages in her letter says this:
Kyrie, I know that you are scared, but I want you to close your eyes and picture mommy and daddy wrapping our arms around you so tight.. giving you the best bear hug ever. Do you remember the song that I use to sing to you when you were scared? Where ever you go, No matter how far.. I'll always always come back for you. Kyrie, I want you to know I will come for you soon. I want you to listen to your teachers, help your classmates, and most of all I want you to remember that God hears our fears. He is bigger than all things, every and anything. He is our protector. I love you with all my heart, and I will be with you soon.
Love Mommy and Daddy
You better believe that I was bawling. My heart ached, my stomach flipped.. God, it just hurt. I had to stop and talk out what was on my heart with the Healer. I cant stand the thought of my baby being scared like that. It kills the happiness in my heart. It makes my heart feel like it dropped in the floor, and it takes my breath away. I can't explain the fear, that even just imagining that situation in a hypothetical situation brings me. It's sickeningly thick, and incredibly real.
My plan is to give the letter to her teacher, in an envelope. I'm also planning on putting a picture of us together for her to have as well. I know some will find this idea eccentric.. but I want her to have something to comfort her. Think what you want, I dont care!
Now, I'm calling all parents.. pray! You are helpless, you cannot pull every disturbed person off the streets, because the reality is...more and more are born each day. In this situation, if you cannot find faith... then there is no hope. Pray for your children, I cant tell you how important this is... pray for their protection. It's your job. If you refuse to have faith, then you forfeit your child to have hope for a better future. Chew on that thought for a little while, because if you don't have faith that something will change for the better, then there is no hope that the future will be better. Those are two concepts that go hand and hand my friend.
Wake up! Do you not see that there is a war going on? We are living in a literal hell. We have to fight for our children. When are we all going to wise up and say we have had enough? When will it be important enough? You need to make it important now. If you dont protect your child and fight for them, no one else will.
Children are blessings. Adore them, love them fiercely, hold tightly to them. Let them know how special they are to you. Never let a day go by that you dont tell your child, no matter what their age, that you love them. Remember, every second counts.
PRAY PRAY PRAY PRAY!!
I challenge every parent to pray for their children, especially school children for one hour. Pray for their protection, pray for protection over their school, classroom, classmates, teachers... Be their shield. This is your way of protecting them when you can't physically be there. Pray for the families of those who lost loved ones this week, pray that there is an end to this madness. Be the armor your kids need, and call out to Jesus.
Ok, I know.. I have hit my max on ranting! I just have really had this on my heart this week, and if I can encourage one person to join me in prayer.. even for one hour... that's one more person throwing shield up. I hope that soon enough, there will be enough shields thrown up to reflect the flames being shot at us back on to the one shooting them at us. I have faith.
Prayers, blessings and love to your weekend,
xoxox- Audrie
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